Okay, the first thing that I noticed about Illinois when I got here is the stupid road system. I had never been to a place where directions sound something like this:
1. Drive down Ogden Ave.
2. Turn left onto Ogden Ave.
What? Why do I have to turn onto a road I'm already on. If I want to stay on a road, it should take no effort.
Plus, it is impossible to guess how to get somewhere. This is because roads are by no means in a grid system. In Tucson, if I know that I am on Speedway, and Grant is to my north, then by turning onto Swan which runs north/south, I'll eventually find Grant. Not so in Naperville. If you're on a north/south road for more than a mile, suddenly you're going west. And then, if you go one more mile, you're suddenly on an entirely different road because the road that you were on turned left a half mile ago! And God help you if you turned right, because that one takes you directly onto a toll road, and now your stuck paying $0.80 to be lost.
Now, since we're stuck on a toll road to who knows where, I'll explain how Illinois cement trucks add insult to injury. Here is a picture of what a cement truck looks like:
Ask any 6 year old boy what a cement truck looks like, and this would be it. Having been a 6 year old boy, I too assume that this is what a cement truck looks like. I've grown very accustomed to this concept, as I feel I have every right to.
Now that that's been established, let's get back to the previous scenario:
While stressing out about finding an exit before the next toll booth comes along, all of a sudden I am fearing for my life as a cement truck is hurtling toward me on the wrong side of the freeway. After much panic and swerving, I realize that the truck isn't getting any closer. In fact, it's moving in the same direction I'm going, despite the fact that it's facing me. That's when I realize that the makers of this cement truck were never 6 year old boys. Here is what it looks like:
Where the heck did this thing come from, Looking Glass Land? Not only is the mixer facing the wrong direction, they added a little box in the back just to make you think that the driver is on that end. There's even a exhaust pipe in the same place as a normal cement truck. It's like they want you have a heart attack on the freeway. I've seen more than a few of these, and I freak out every time.
So if you come to visit...you've been warned.
